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generative [jen-er-uh-tiv, -uh-rey-tiv]
adj. capable of reproducing or creating; having the power or function of originating
Why Generative Conflict?
Author and activist adrienne maree brown names how we create more possibilities for what we can do together in the world when we perceive conflict and difference as an opportunity, a gift, to expand our capacity to be in solidarity. In our work with women of color we leaned into conflict because 1) we fully expected it to arise as we convened leaders engaged in complex, deeply personal work; and 2) we believe that whatever conflict harvests is more valuable than what currently exists.
Even after making a commitment to lean into conflict, the practice of it can be easier-said-than-done. After putting much time and labor into designing a transformational teaching and learning experience, conflict that threatens to derail the process can be disappointing and even feel personal for both the facilitation team and participants. But when perceived as an opportunity we can take solace in knowing that conflict is not an indication of failure. Leaning into generative conflict challenges “othering” behaviors in exchange for sustaining opportunities of belonging. It asks us to consider: What is made possible by showing up differently?
We offer these three core practices for creating the conditions that allow for conflict to be received as a gift to the space:
Combining our pedagogy and team superpowers, we acted as witnesses to group dynamics and recognized that “the heat” that emerged was awakening the women’s thinking. As facilitators, we attempted to shepherd them through difficult conversations to unlearn calcified ideas and discern new ones from hearing diverse voices. As weavers, we helped the women test the possibilities of being in unity. (see more about our Pedagogy and Our Ride or Die Team)
We co-created a learning container strong enough to hold purpose yet flexible enough to accommodate necessary shifts (see Section 5: Wireframes & Sessions in Full Pedagogy Guide).
We became familiar with (and appreciated) the many ways conflict shows up in a space as discussed below.
“We speak today about a crisis in contemporary social movements. This crisis has been produced in part by our failure to develop a meaningful and collective historical consciousness. Such a consciousness would entail a recognition that our victories attained by freedom movements are never etched in stone. What we often perceive under one set of historical conditions as glorious triumphs of mass struggle can later ricochet against us if we do not continually reconfigure the terms and transform the terrain of our struggle. The struggle must go on. Transformed circumstances require new theories and practices.”
Angela Davis, The Meaning of Freedom: And Other Difficult Dialogues
Why Conflict Shows Up
Why Conflict Shows Up
By regularly debriefing what we were observing and learning, our team noticed that conflict appears in many forms yet the reasons it shows up are fairly consistent. Conflict comes forth as an intentional or unconscious disruption. We observed that a participant may want her actions to impact the group in a particular way or may be acting out of learned embodied behavior, in which case the disruption is a visceral response to what is taking place. Disruption generally occurs because women (human beings in general) are uncomfortable with vulnerability, such as by:
Having less confidence or knowledge than they project - Feeling unworthy or unable to meet real or perceived expectations
Fearing too much intimacy - Having to reveal something of themselves that causes feelings of shame or exposure
Having to admit disinterest in what is being asked of the group - thinking there is nothing new to learn, and not wanting to learn from or engage with specific people
Regarding the last point, we noticed some participants ascribed characteristics to facilitators, guest speakers or other women in the group because they triggered recollection of unpleasant or painful experiences (e.g., “the white person in the room” or a parole officer as noted in Section 3: Assembling Our Ride or Die in Full Pedagogy Guide). It is also real that in creating a liberated space —something that does not presently exist in society—any of us might operate from a place of scarcity (believing there is but so much generosity of spirit or opportunity to shine), or from desiring a familiar place of comfort even if it is antithetical to our own liberation (i.e., using crisis as a mode of engagement).
Creating Space for Disruption
Creating Space for Disruption
How conflict shows up can be quite nuanced but the approach to addressing it is clearer. It begins with creating a container for constructive engaged learning and exchange and is sharpened by self-aware facilitators’ stepping in at critical moments to gently call women in and up.
Anticipating disruption, we implement preemptory strategies like:
Facilitating Maximize/Minimize on the opening day of a gathering used to help women identify how and under what circumstances they check out and to lift up their commitment to our created community (see more on Creating a Liberated Zone).
Creating space for reflective journaling as an offering of time to help the women process their feelings and thoughts, and when we reconvene they inevitably express appreciation for the pause. Journaling and discussion also helps them move from a space of vulnerability to making intentional choices in sync with their visions for transformational change.
During in-person gatherings we regularly pause a discussion for reflective journaling, inviting the “disruptor” and all to recognize and resist the temptation to be distracted by tendencies that have not served them well in the past.
In virtual gatherings we might break participants into individual breakout rooms so they have the opportunity to reflect alone.
The 6 Principles of Trauma-informed Care
Trauma-informed care (TIC) is grounded in the belief that healing justice is not only a vital part of our social movements, but a necessary component to interrupting intergenerational trauma, practicing principled struggle, and maintaining our sustainability. The TIC six principles are:
1. Safety
2. Trustworthiness & transparency
3. Peer support
4. Collaboration & mutuality
5. Empowerment & choice
6. Cultural, historical & gender issues
Community Change Women’s Fellowship Program (2019-2020), Trauma-Informed Care Report by Holiday Simmons, MSW
Understanding How We Show Up in Conflict
Understanding How We Show Up in Conflict
Anima Leadership Institute offers a conflict styles tool that we want to uplift: the Nurturuer-Warrior Continuum. In conflict situations, when emotions, agitation and anxiety are high, we tend to default into autopilot mode, where unconscious thoughts and behaviors (including communication styles) dominate. Nurturer - Warrior continuum helps us consider what our “autopilot” communication style is. While people definitely react differently depending on the situation, we do often default to certain tendencies, so we find it’s helpful to know where we might land on this spectrum and how this might impact our communications.
We believe there is no “right” conflict style! But it can be helpful to know where you are on the spectrum, and to know roughly where the other person you’re in conflict with is on this spectrum if you can. When you know these things, you can have the option of adjusting as needed - or not!
See more directly from Anima Leadership below:
Those toward the nurturer end of the spectrum usually have an easier time staying focused on the needs of others in conflict and may be more adaptable and flexible. The drawbacks however, include not naming or standing up for one’s own needs and avoiding difficult topics and issues.
On the warrior end of the spectrum are those who tend towards being more assertive and comfortable with conflict. This style tends to be more focused on self-needs in conflict and thus is better at boundary-setting and stepping into conflict situations. The tradeoff is that the warriors may be quick to judge and reflect less on the needs and feeling of others during conflict.
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